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you do? You choose the worst possible time in the world!
 You re pissed at the timing? His own anger shot out of con-
trol.  What the fuck does it matter when I tell you, as long as I tell
you?
 I was sandwiched between you and another man, you thick-
headed imbecile. That s not the time to tell me for the first time
ever, mind you that you love me!
Rand came toward her. Lucy backed up a step and smacked into
Trey, who had slipped out of bed right after she did. Lucy swiveled
around, prepared to blast him too, but Trey was quicker.
 Calm down, Trey said, his voice somehow settling them both.
 You wanted him to love you. He does. You wanted him to tell you
his feelings out loud. He did. Give him a chance to speak before
you flay him for doing the very thing you asked of him.
She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Trey.  Don t
play the counselor with me!
 I m not. But you need to listen to him, Lucy.
She rolled her eyes and started toward the closet.  I need
clothes.
Rand and Trey watched as she crossed the room. Her sweet
body seemed to glide across the carpet. She wasn t a high-paid
model for nothing. Lucy exuded beauty and grace. As she donned
a black silk robe, Rand nearly whimpered. He wanted her naked.
Now. Every day. He d just sated himself inside her delectable body
and still he wanted to sink between her supple thighs. He looked at
Trey and saw the same wild cravings in the other man s eyes. They
both sighed and moved to the living room to pull on their jeans.
Partially dressed, Rand went to the kitchen and grabbed a few
beers. Trey and Lucy followed close behind. He handed a cold
longneck bottle to Trey and held out another for Lucy. She shook
her head. Rand and Trey quickly swallowed half the contents. Lucy
sat at the table and waited, her legs crossed, her fingers playing
with the sash of her robe.
Rand put his beer on the counter and looked straight at the
woman who held his heart.  My dad said he loved me. Then I
never saw him again. Somehow the confession wasn t as hard
as he d thought it d be.  I swore I d never tell another living soul
those three words.
She left the chair and came to him. She cupped his cheek in her
soft palm.  You aren t your father. You re a good man, an honest
man. Her lips thinned as she muttered,  Most days.
He covered her hand with his own.  Don t you see, Lucy? I
thought he was, too. For years I thought he was perfect. I guess
compared to mom, dad seemed like a saint. It took me a long time
to stop watching for him at the apartment window and waiting for
him to come back for me. I couldn t understand why he d leave
me.
Rand released her and pushed a hand through his hair. He went
to the table, pulled out a chair, and sat down.  In the back of my
mind, I sort of knew why he left mom. Even at ten years old I
could see that she didn t care about herself, much less anyone else.
But I couldn t let myself believe he didn t care about me. I thought
he d come back. He said he loved me. You don t abandon those
you love.
Lucy started to come toward him, to comfort him no doubt, but
he d never tell her the whole story if she started touching him. He d
chicken out, as he always did.  Don t, he said.  Just let me finish.
Lucy stayed still. Trey watched him, his eyes willing him to
spill his soul.  I know I told you about the way I was raised. You
know about my mom and her addiction. Being so poor, we barely
scraped by.
 Yes, Lucy said.
Her face was so full of love it nearly swallowed Rand whole.
 Mom was controllable if she had plenty of heroin. When she ran
out, she d go through withdrawal. Those were the bad days. She d
get on these rampages, shouting and beating anything she could get
her hands on. That was usually me. Dad kept her at bay most times,
but even he had a hard time controlling her. He took a deep breath
and went on.  After Dad left, I was defenseless. I realized damned
quick that it was smart to keep mom supplied. That was the only
thing that made her happy. I did whatever I could to make a buck.
Sold stuff, washed windows, cleaned houses. Whatever I could to
keep her satisfied.
 No kid should have to go through that. I m sorry, Rand.
He smiled, to take the hurt out of her eyes if nothing else.  I
know. It s okay. It wasn t the best way to grow up, but I survived.
It sounds shitty, but when I was old enough to support myself, I got
out and never looked back. He stood and went to her, unable to
keep his distance any longer. Immediately her arms came around
his middle and he pulled her in close, drawing strength from her
in a way he couldn t with anyone else. After several seconds, he
pushed back enough to see into her chocolate eyes.
 When you came along it seemed too good to be true. A sweet
country girl from Ohio wanted to spend time with me. I couldn t
let myself believe it would last.
 I m just me, Rand. I m no better or worse than you. My up-
bringing was good wonderful, in fact. My parents are both loving
people. But that doesn t define who I am, no more than your child-
hood defines you.
 I know that now. I guess I was afraid if I let myself fall in love
with you, you d leave. The thing is, I fell in love anyway. I was just
too stubborn to admit it.
 I love you, Rand. I love the man you are, the child you were,
and the person you ll be in the future. You re strong and smart and
honest and everything I ever dreamed.
 I love you, angel. Tonight& I don t know, I thought I could let
you go. I thought I could give you up. Like this would be our last
hurrah or some shit. But damn, the thought of you leaving has me
in knots. Give us a chance. I can give you the white picket fence
and two-point-five kids if that s what you want, baby. Just don t
leave.
A tear slipped down Lucy s cheek and her lower lip quivered.
 Oh, Rand, I m not going anywhere. How can I possibly leave
my heart behind? She rose up on her toes and kissed him. It was
gentle, but filled with promise. She started caressing his chest as he
swiped the tear away with his thumb.  There will never be another
man who fills me the way you do, she swore.
 I m bringing a load of baggage into this relationship, he mut-
tered, wishing like hell he could change his past.
Lucy reached down and cupped him through his jeans. She
squeezed and Rand s mind went blank.  I can handle baggage. I
won t break. Just love me. That s all I ever needed.
Excitement laced her words. It was music to his ears and a balm
to his heart.  I do love you. I always have, baby. You own me, body [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]