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someone else's."
Render shook his head.
"Quite a story," he said softly, "but I have nothing that dramatic to contend with. I've found an
exceedingly stable individual a psychiatrist, in fact one who's already spent time in ordinary analysis.
She wants to go into neuropartici-pation but the fear of a sight-trauma was what was keeping her out.
I've been gradually exposing her to a full range of visual phenomena. When I've finished she should be
com-pletely accommodated to sight, so that she can give her full attention to therapy and not be blinded
by vision, so to speak. We've already had four sessions."
"And?"
".. . And it's working fine."
"You are certain about it?"
"Yes, as certain as anyone can be in these matters."
"Mm-hm," said Bartelmetz. "Tell me, do you find her excessively strong-willed? By that I mean, say,
perhaps an obsessive-compulsive pattern concerning anything to which she's been introduced so far?"
"No."
"Has she ever succeeded in taking over control of the fan-tasy?"
"No!"
"You lie," he said simply.
Render found a cigarette. After lighting it, he smiled.
"Old father, old artificer," he conceded, "age has not withered your perceptiveness. I may trick me, but
never you.  Yes, as a matter of fact, she is very difficult to keep under control. She is not satisfied just
to see. She wants to Shape things for herself already. It's quite understandable both to her and to
me but conscious apprehension and emo-tional acceptance never do seem to get together on things.
She has become dominant on several occasions, but I've succeeded in resuming control almost
immediately. After all, Iam mas-ter of the bank."
"Hm," mused Bartelmetz. "Are you familiar with a Budd-hist text Shankara's Catechism?"
"I'm afraid not."
"Then I lecture you on it now. It posits obviously not for therapeutic purposes a true ego and a false
ego. The true ego is that part of man which is immortal and shall proceed on to nirvana: the soul, if you
like. Very good. Well, the false ego, on the other hand, is the normal mind, bound round with the
illusions the consciousness of you and I and everyone we have ever known professionally. Good?
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Good. Now, the stuff this false ego is made up of, they call skandhas. These include the feelings, the
perceptions, the aptitudes, consciousness itself, and even the physical form. Very unscientific. Yes. Now
they are not the same thing as neuroses, or one of Mister Ibsen's life-lies, or an hallucina-tion no, even
though they are all wrong, being parts of a false thing to begin with.
"Each of the five skandhas is a part of the eccentricity that we call identity then on top come the
neuroses and all the other messes which follow after and keep us in business. Okay? Okay. I give you
this lecture because I need a dra-matic term for what I will say, because I wish to say something
dramatic. View the skandhas as lying at the bot-tom of the pond; the neuroses, they are ripples on the
top of the water; the 'true ego,' if there is one, is buried deep beneath the sand at the bottom. So. The
ripples fill up the the zwischenwelt between the object and the subject. The
skandhas are a part of the subject, basic, unique, the stuff of his being. So far, you are with me?"
"With many reservations."
"Good. Now I have defined my term somewhat, I will use it. You are fooling around with skandhas, not
simple neuroses. You are attempting to adjust this woman's overall conception of herself and of the
world. You are using the ONT&R to do it. It is the same thing as fooling with a psychotic, or an ape. All
may seem to go well, but at any moment, it is possible you may do something, show her some sight, or
some way of seeing which will break in upon her selfhood, break a skandha and pouf! it will be like
breaking through the bottom of the pond. A whirlpool will result, pulling you where? I do not want you
for a patient, young man, young artificer, so I counsel you not to proceed with this experiment. The
ONT&R should not be used in such a manner."
Render flipped his cigarette into the fire and counted on his fingers:
"One," he said, "you are making a mystical mountain out of a pebble. All I am doing is adjusting her
consciousness to accept an additional area of perception. Much of it is simple transference work from the
other senses. Two, her emotions were quite intense initially because itdid involve a trauma but we've
passed that stage already. Now it is only a novelty to her. Soon it will be a commonplace. Three,
Eileen is a psychiatrist herself; she is educated in these matters and deeply aware of the delicate nature of
what we are do-ing. Four, her sense of identity and her desires, or her skandhas, or whatever you want
to call them, are as firm as the Rock of Gibraltar. Do you realize the intense application required for a
blind person to obtain the education she has obtained? It took a will of ten-point steel and the emotional
control of an ascetic as well "
" And if something that strong should break, in a time-less moment of anxiety" Bartelmetz smiled
sadly "may the shades of Sigmund Freud and Karl Jung walk by your side in the valley of darkness.
" And five," he added suddenly, staring into Render's eyes. "Five" he ticked it off on one finger "is
she pretty?"
Render looked back into the fire.
"Very clever," sighed Bartelmetz. "I cannot tell whether you are blushing or not, with the rosy glow of the
flames upon your face. I fear that you are, though, which would mean that you are aware that you
yourself could be the source of the inciting stimulus. I shall burn a candle tonight before a portrait of Adler
and pray that he give you the strength to compete successfully in your duel with your pa-tient." [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]