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to be self-involved, attention seeking, and a virtual football trivia database of knowledge. Now, you must understand that he will plan his social commitments
according to the games scheduled for any particular sports season. If you also live for the excitement of the gridiron, you will enjoy his enthusiasm and match it with
your own. Perhaps, if you were an athlete or cheerleader, you would be a complementary team player for our sports enthusiast.
An Eternal Jock may be a good choice if you wish to spend your remaining years listening to stories of his early glory. He will also regale you with the latest
statistics for his special team and any others that may interest him. He will spend spellbinding hours telling you why the current team is only a pale shadow of  his
team. Those wimps don't know how to play! He will want to hang out on weekends with  the boys, who are also firmly stuck in 1985,1989, or whenever. Eternal
Jocks have a cognitive time machine, and the date never changes. If none of this frightens you and you are willing to be in an ongoing competition with televised
sports, a Jock is the guy for you.
As a consequence of their effort to explore the theory that  sports build character, Drs. Andrew Miracle and Roger Rees wrote Lessons of the Locker Room. In
it they say,  Generally, involvement in any extracurricular activity is a good thing. But Sports are not better than band or chorus. The danger is that the 'win at any
cost' attitude becomes so significant that the potential positive benefits are overwhelmed (Psychology Today, 1994). Research indicates that kicking goals, evading
tackles, and hitting balls has little character-building potential. For athletes, there seems to be a mixture of positive and negative outcomes. In one of their own
studies, Miracle and Rees tracked 1,600 high school boys, the results indicate that the Jocks had greater self-esteem and attached  greater value to academic
achievement than boys who were not involved in sports. However, the athletes' aggression and irritability levels were higher. Further, the Jocks scored lower in
self-control and in  belief in the importance of being honest than nonjocks (Psychology Today, 1994).
Criteria for the Jock
Jocks vary in much the same ways as everyone else, and their characteristics also differ from individual to individual. However, these are the most common
characteristics of the Jock's personality:
" Successful athlete (or believes he was)
" Preoccupied with himself
" Need for admiration
" Sense of entitlement
" Lack of understanding or concern for others
" More aggressive than non-Jocks
" More irritable than non-Jocks
" Excessively involved in sports (watching, playing, retaining sports trivia; in fact, his leisure time is consumed by
" sport-related activities) Often relives his athletic glory days
" Insensitive
" Spends a lot of time with other Jocks
" Enjoys being the center of attention
" High self-esteem
" Womanizer (remember, Jocks like attention)
Five or more predictors especially believing he was a successful athlete, often reliving his past glory, and displaying insensitivity indicate a high likelihood
that your mate is an Eternal Jock. If he has most of the traits listed, he is a Super Jock.
Let's look in on Jock Rocky and his girlfriend, Kelly.
Case Study #1: Rocky and Kelly
Kelly and Rocky met in college and have been together for ten years. Rocky is a car salesperson; he sells Hummers. His employer was an enthusiastic team
supporter when Rocky played football for the State University. Although selling is not Rocky's strength (he is still looking for that), he stays at the dealership and
basks in the fading admiration from his college days. Kelly is a landscaper with her own company. She is very proud of her company's achievements and credits the
all-female crew for her success. She still sees the glow of accomplishment that Rocky enjoyed when they were classmates. Kelly was an adoring fan when they
started dating. In the past few years, however, her adoration has begun to wear thin as she matured and Rocky remained essentially the same. He has become the
Eternal Jock.
Kelly calls Rocky from work to confirm their plans for tonight (Friday).
KELLY: Hi, Sweetheart, what time would you like to meet tonight?
ROCKY: NO can do, Babe. I just talked to Spike. You remember him; he was a teammate. Anyway, we decided to go to the old school's varsity game tonight.
We should be back Saturday.
KELLY: Rocky, you must be kidding! We have had plans for weeks to attend the National Landscaping Awards banquet. My company's work has been
entered for an award; I told you how important this ceremony is.
ROCKY: I didn't promise anything. Evidently, you were not listening. Just back off! You are always trying to push me into this girly, flower crap! Why don't
you just stop! I will go where I want and do what I want.
KELLY: Rocky! Rocky! (But Rocky had already hung up.)
Rocky used the following manipulative techniques.
ROCKY'S MANIPULATIVE TECHNIQUES
Intimidation: He raised his voice and was verbally aggressive. Jocks are taught to intimidate.
Blaming: His message is that Kelly is a scheming, controlling female.  Evidently you were not listening! He blames Kelly for not listening to him and for
trying to control his behavior. He knows that the best defense is a good offense.
You are a shrew:  You are always trying to push me into this girly, flower crap! His message is that no normal woman would be doing this to a man. Yeah,
right, Rocky.
Threat of abandonment: He hangs up without saying goodbye or telling Kelly when he will be in touch. He sends a very clear message:  Push me and I will
be gone.
Case Study #2: Kyle and Tammy
First, I noticed Kyle's size. Forty-five-year-old Kyle is enormous, with wide shoulders and bulky arms and legs. In contrast, he has started to go soft around the
middle, as former athletes are prone to do. Thirty-eight-year-old Tammy is tall and slim with flaming red hair.
They have been married five years and have four children between them. Each spouse was married once before. Kyle is an insurance salesperson, and Tammy is
They have been married five years and have four children between them. Each spouse was married once before. Kyle is an insurance salesperson, and Tammy is
an engineer with a telecommunications company. Kyle begins the session saying,  I don't know what she is so upset about. She is always harping about something.
I spend some time with the guys, drinking a few brews and talking sports, or go with them to a game and I never hear the end of it. I have high blood pressure now,
and I am certain it is due to her incessant nagging. Just tell her to stop.
Tammy counters,  He is always with the boys. I never see him unless he is glued to sports on TV. I could stand in front of the TV naked and he would not notice
me. I feel abandoned and undesirable. Last month, he forgot all about my birthday and went to a bar with the guys. I am tired of being invisible.
 I wish I could be invisible, retorts Kyle.  Then maybe you would stop trying to control my life. The other guys don't have this problem with their wives. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]