[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

of old, but he ordered for himself root beer or ginger ale and
good-naturedly endured their chaffing. And as they waxed maudlin
he studied them, watching the beast rise and master them and
thanking God that he was no longer as they. They had their
limitations to forget, and when they were drunk, their dim, stupid
spirits were even as gods, and each ruled in his heaven of
intoxicated desire. With Martin the need for strong drink had
vanished. He was drunken in new and more profound ways - with
Ruth, who had fired him with love and with a glimpse of higher and
eternal life; with books, that had set a myriad maggots of desire
Page 53
ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html
gnawing in his brain; and with the sense of personal cleanliness he
was achieving, that gave him even more superb health than what he
had enjoyed and that made his whole body sing with physical well-
being.
One night he went to the theatre, on the blind chance that he might
see her there, and from the second balcony he did see her. He saw
her come down the aisle, with Arthur and a strange young man with a
football mop of hair and eyeglasses, the sight of whom spurred him
to instant apprehension and jealousy. He saw her take her seat in
the orchestra circle, and little else than her did he see that
night - a pair of slender white shoulders and a mass of pale gold
hair, dim with distance. But there were others who saw, and now
and again, glancing at those about him, he noted two young girls
who looked back from the row in front, a dozen seats along, and who
smiled at him with bold eyes. He had always been easy-going. It
was not in his nature to give rebuff. In the old days he would
have smiled back, and gone further and encouraged smiling. But now
it was different. He did smile back, then looked away, and looked
no more deliberately. But several times, forgetting the existence
of the two girls, his eyes caught their smiles. He could not re-
thumb himself in a day, nor could he violate the intrinsic
kindliness of his nature; so, at such moments, he smiled at the
girls in warm human friendliness. It was nothing new to him. He
knew they were reaching out their woman's hands to him. But it was
different now. Far down there in the orchestra circle was the one
woman in all the world, so different, so terrifically different,
from these two girls of his class, that he could feel for them only
pity and sorrow. He had it in his heart to wish that they could
possess, in some small measure, her goodness and glory. And not
for the world could he hurt them because of their outreaching. He
Page 54
ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html
was not flattered by it; he even felt a slight shame at his
lowliness that permitted it. He knew, did he belong in Ruth's
class, that there would be no overtures from these girls; and with
each glance of theirs he felt the fingers of his own class
clutching at him to hold him down.
He left his seat before the curtain went down on the last act,
intent on seeing Her as she passed out. There were always numbers
of men who stood on the sidewalk outside, and he could pull his cap
down over his eyes and screen himself behind some one's shoulder so
that she should not see him. He emerged from the theatre with the
first of the crowd; but scarcely had he taken his position on the
Martin Eden
Get any book for free on: www.Abika.com
33
edge of the sidewalk when the two girls appeared. They were
looking for him, he knew; and for the moment he could have cursed
that in him which drew women. Their casual edging across the
sidewalk to the curb, as they drew near, apprised him of discovery.
They slowed down, and were in the thick of the crown as they came
up with him. One of them brushed against him and apparently for
the first time noticed him. She was a slender, dark girl, with
black, defiant eyes. But they smiled at him, and he smiled back.
"Hello," he said.
It was automatic; he had said it so often before under similar
circumstances of first meetings. Besides, he could do no less.
There was that large tolerance and sympathy in his nature that
would permit him to do no less. The black-eyed girl smiled
gratification and greeting, and showed signs of stopping, while her
companion, arm linked in arm, giggled and likewise showed signs of
halting. He thought quickly. It would never do for Her to come
Page 55
ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html
out and see him talking there with them. Quite naturally, as a
matter of course, he swung in along-side the dark-eyed one and
walked with her. There was no awkwardness on his part, no numb
tongue. He was at home here, and he held his own royally in the
badinage, bristling with slang and sharpness, that was always the
preliminary to getting acquainted in these swift-moving affairs.
At the corner where the main stream of people flowed onward, he
started to edge out into the cross street. But the girl with the
black eyes caught his arm, following him and dragging her companion
after her, as she cried:
"Hold on, Bill! What's yer rush? You're not goin' to shake us so
sudden as all that?"
He halted with a laugh, and turned, facing them. Across their
shoulders he could see the moving throng passing under the street
lamps. Where he stood it was not so light, and, unseen, he would
be able to see Her as she passed by. She would certainly pass by,
for that way led home.
"What's her name?" he asked of the giggling girl, nodding at the
dark-eyed one.
"You ask her," was the convulsed response.
"Well, what is it?" he demanded, turning squarely on the girl in
question.
"You ain't told me yours, yet," she retorted.
"You never asked it," he smiled. "Besides, you guessed the first
rattle. It's Bill, all right, all right."
"Aw, go 'long with you." She looked him in the eyes, her own
sharply passionate and inviting. "What is it, honest?"
Again she looked. All the centuries of woman since sex began were
eloquent in her eyes. And he measured her in a careless way, and
knew, bold now, that she would begin to retreat, coyly and
Page 56
ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html
Martin Eden
Get any book for free on: www.Abika.com
34
delicately, as he pursued, ever ready to reverse the game should he
turn fainthearted. And, too, he was human, and could feel the draw
of her, while his ego could not but appreciate the flattery of her
kindness. Oh, he knew it all, and knew them well, from A to Z.
Good, as goodness might be measured in their particular class,
hard-working for meagre wages and scorning the sale of self for
easier ways, nervously desirous for some small pinch of happiness
in the desert of existence, and facing a future that was a gamble
between the ugliness of unending toil and the black pit of more
terrible wretchedness, the way whereto being briefer though better
paid.
"Bill," he answered, nodding his head. "Sure, Pete, Bill an' no
other."
"No joshin'?" she queried.
"It ain't Bill at all," the other broke in.
"How do you know?" he demanded. "You never laid eyes on me
before."
"No need to, to know you're lyin'," was the retort.
"Straight, Bill, what is it?" the first girl asked.
"Bill'll do," he confessed. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]